Adventure 3-Canbodia!-missions 11-18

Here we go. Lets get it started with a slice of Dossier pie.


You're about to enter the asshole of the world Captain. Beyond the Skate Park, it's all Gutter Punk territory.

But first you'll have to get past it.

That damn skate ramp has been a thorn in our side for too long. It seems like everytime we knock it down, they rebuild it the next day. For being lazy good-for-nothings, those Gutter Punks are sure industrious when it comes to skating...

They've stepped up their defenses recently. We can't get close enough to knock it down without being pushed back by gunfire. You'll have to find a way to get past their defenses.

Good luck, Captain.

Go to Canbodia.

The General was right

We were heading straight into the asshole of the world

I could feel it as we moved upriver

What was I gonna do when I finally found Kurtz?

I had no idea

The only thing I did know is that if I made it back, I would never be the same

> Continue...

Ahab takes the ship out of it's docking point near the recycling bin.

Lance: Man, I couldn't sleep at all last night with all that ruckus coming down from the Skate Park upriver. I've got a mad headache. Hey Morpheus, think I could get some of those pills you're always carrying around?

Morpheus reaches into his pockets and turns to Lance, his palms open and holding two pills, one red and one blue.

Morpheus: You must make a choice Lance.

Lance: Uhhh, which of these will help my headache?

Morpheus: I'm trying to free your mind, Lance. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it.

Lance: Whatever man.

Lance grabs both pills from Morpheus and tosses them back.

Lance: Thanks man.

Morpheus: Um... You probably shouldn't have-

Ahab: Yaharr! Quiet you two! We're approaching.

> Continue...

You sail towards the Skate Park ahead. You pass through a narrow thicket-bordered river passage and are able to make out a small group of gutter punks riding their skateboards over a giant skate ramp that expands fully from one bank of the river to the other. There's no way through on the water...

Suddenly, there's gunfire!

You've been spotted!

**********: Reverse! Reverse!

Ahab turns the steering wheel sharply and takes the Wonka Boat back through the narrow river pass and away from the gunfire.

**********: We'd best lay low and form a plan... Let's dock over near that statue on the bank.

You point over to an old grimy statue on the river bank. As Ahab pulls the boat up to it to dock you can see it's an ancient forgotten monument to Tony Hawk.

Voice: Have you come to pay tribute?

> Who's there?

On the river bank, holding a pair of garden shears stands a long bearded Gutter Punk with a leather jacket over long flowing white robes.

Eddie: Golf Papa!

You begin to reach for your weapon...

Gutter Punk Priest: Please, I will not harm you. I am merely a shepard of the old faith. I have a favor to ask of you.

> What's that?
> A favor? For a filthy Gutter Punk? Never.

Gutter Punk Priest: There is a tree that grows deep in the thick of the jungle that produces a special fruit. Take these garden shears and bring me back this fruit. Then we will talk more.

You get the Garden Shears

Now that you can cut down trees why not try to get a little deeper into the jungle? You might wanna cut down as much trees as you can since you are losing the Shears again at the end of this day. You might get it back the next day but I can't tell for sure.

Red=Mountain Honeydew Melon, Yellow=lots of cans, White=nothing special

Once you've found a Melon you can return to that weird looking guru.

Gutter Punk Priest: Ah, you've found the fruit! Wonderful! Now, there is one more thing you must do. Take that Melon and combine it with soda water. Bring the resulting beverage back here.

So why not just trust that weird old man and head to the Inventing Room and combine a Melon and a soda.

You toss the following onto the conveyor belt: Mountain Honeydew Melon, Soda Water. You peddle the bike for a minute. Buzzing and steaming sounds eminate from the compactor until there is a loud popping noise. It's done! You go over to the conveyor belt and pick up your prize...

You take the Mountain Dew and place it into your trolly.

Return once more to the Guru, Priest, whatever he is.

Gutter Punk Priest: Ah, wonderful! You brought the most extreme of beverages! Now give it to me!

You hand over the Mountain Dew. The Priest takes the can, sets it in front of the statue of Tony Hawk, and makes the sign of the 900 on his chest before turning back to you.

Gutter Punk Priest: I am one of the few who still pay tribute here. Most of my people have forgotten the Old Gods since Kurtz showed up.

**********: Why do they worship Kurtz?

Gutter Punk Priest: It all began the day we captured Kurtz at the Dive Bar...

> Listen to the priest's tale

Gutter Punk Priest: We captured Kurtz and brought him back to our base. We knew he was a rising figure in the Hobo Army and wanted to use him as a bargaining chip. But there was a conflict... Kurtz tried to escape, and in the ensuing struggle his shirt tore off.

**********: This isn't going to turn into slash fiction or anything, is it?

Gutter Punk Priest: That's when we saw it. On Kurtz's back was the most bitching tattoo any of us had ever seen. Here.

The Priest hands you a polaroid with a picture of a killer "Skate or Die" tattoo.

> That is pretty bitchin'...

Gutter Punk Priest: Our people immediately prostrated themselves before this man with the Godlike tattoo.

**********: Seriously, this is starting to sound kinda homoerotic...

Gutter Punk Priest: We anointed Kurtz our leader, and he took to the role keenly and quickly. He seemed to have no reservations turning against his old comrades in the Hobo Army.

**********: Traitor!

Gutter Punk Priest: He showed us a way to a secret hatch and promised us we would find wonderful bounties on the other side the likes of which we could only imagine.

**********: The hatch in First City...

> Why are you telling me all this?

Gutter Punk Priest: There are a few of us who believe Kurtz is a false idol. People have forgotten the true Gods since his appearance.

The Priest turns back to the statue of Tony Hawk and briefly bows his head.

Gutter Punk Priest: I will help you in any way I can if you intend on destroying Kurtz. Speaking of which, may I borrow those Garden Shears back for a moment?

You hand over the Garden Shears and the Priest begins cutting leaves down from the surrounding jungle trees before handing the shears back over to you.

Gutter Punk Priest: Come back tomorrow. I will create cover that will help you sneak your Wonka Ship closer to the River Half-Pipe. You will have to find your own way over it though I'm afraid.

Guess you'll have to wait while the priest prepares your boat cover!

Mission 11 Completed!

Mission 12:

Like always, check your Dossier. Do I really need to say that every time? Huh...


What's the hold up Captain? Get over that half-pipe! We've got word Kurtz is planning some large offensive for the near future. We need to get to him before he can complete whatever it is he's plotting!

And by we I mean you.

Go to the Skate Park.

Gutter Punk Priest: I'm done! I've stitched together a canopy of jungle leaves that should cover your Wonka Ship nicely.

The Priest steps aside to show you his creation.

Gutter Punk Priest: As to finding a way to get over the half-pipe, you're on your own. I've done all I can do to help.

***********: Thanks for all the help.

Gutter Punk Priest: Just come back when you're ready to attempt the jump and we'll slip this over your Wonka Vessel.

You got mail.

Dear ***********,

How's it going? It's been a while! I hope wherever it is you find yourself these days, things are going well.

I just wanted to let you know that if you ever need any help feel free to ask myself or the Oompa Loompas. We're in your debt for all your help with the Chocolate Factory!

Willy out!

-Willy Wonka

So now that you know that Willy wants to help why not blow the flute?

You blow on the Loompa Whistle. Suddenly, several Oompa Loompas appear from nowhere.

Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
Fizzy lifting is what you must do
Oompa Loompa doompadee dee
Bring your boat to the docks of Second City

***********: Oh c'mon, you can't rhyme "doo" and "do".

Oompa Loompa #3: Do you actually want our help or not?

***********: Sorry...

The Oompa Loompas grumble to themselves as they wander off towards the Second City Docks.

Sail to the Docks and pick them up.

Ahab pulls the Wonka Boat into the Second City Docks and you hop out. A small group of Oompa Loompa mechanics is waiting for you.

Oompa Loompa #1: What do you do when you a ramp blocks your boat?

Oompa Loompa #2: Construct an engine that allows you to float!

Oompa Loompa #1: To spruce up your ship

Oompa Loompa #3: Find us one motor,

Oompa Loompa #2: fizzy lifting soda,

Oompa Loompa #1: and...

***********: And...?

Oompa Loompa #1: That's it actually. Just those two things.

Hmmm, Fizzy Lifting Soda... You remember needing a cleansing angent, some feathers, and a fizzy base to make that.

The Motor on the other hand... Maybe someone in Canbodia knows where you can find one?

> ignore

Lets start seeking a motor. Go to the Hobo Army Base and talk to the General. You will need a lot of money to do this.

You step inside the General's office and find he is in a meeting with Major Sayid.

Hobo General: Hello Captain. Is there something I can help you with?

***********: I need a motor. Are there any extras around the army base?

Hobo General: Oooohhh, sorry Captain. We're planning an offensive against Golf Papa today and we need every last piece of equipment we can get. You can sometimes find motors in the river though. Leftovers from old battles and whatnot.

Sayid: If it's a motor you need Captain, I can build you one... for a price.

Hobo General: Major! I had no idea you were a mechanic!

Sayid: Yes. Inexplicably, I can construct or fix any machine with mere scraps, fly a helicopter, and am also a fully trained dentist. So what do you say, Captain? I'll put you together a motor for $100,000.

> Pony up $100,000 for a motor ← You could also get a motor from sailing around the river (took me 100T but then I got some more of'em)
> No thanks, I think I'll go look for one on the river

You fork over the $100,000 to the Major. He takes the cash and steps out of the tent.

***********: Hey! Where are you-

You're interrupted by the banging and sawing sounds. A minute later, Sayid reappears holding a shiney new motor.

Sayid: Pleasure doing business with you Captain.

You get the Abandoned Motor

Hobo General: Now, if you'll excuse us Captain, we've got an offensive to coordinate...

Here is the one from the river.

You're doing donuts half a click out from the skate park when you spot something in the water.

***********: Cut the engine!

You idle over to the object and find it's a fully functioning motor just floating in the water. You wouldn't even think such an object would float of it's own volition...

Ahab: Yarrr, look at the markings. It's Golf Papa's. Must be leftover from a damaged boat.

Whatever. All you know is you just scored a sweet motor.

You get the Abandoned Motor

Now you need to make a fizzy lifting soda and return to the Docks.

You arrive at the Dock carrying the Motor and a vial of Fizzy Lifting Soda.

Oompa Loompa #1: Oompa Loompa doompity-

Oompa Loompa #2: Look Ted, I'm tired. Can we just put the motor on the boat and get the hell out of here?

Oompa Loompa #1: ...

You hand over the Fizzy Lifting Soda and Abandoned Motor to one of the Oompa Loompas. They spend some time tacking the motor onto the Wonka Boat and then pour the fizzy lifting soda inside.

Oompa Loompa #2: There's your damn Fizzy Lifting Engine. Just pull this cord and you'll shoot into the air briefly.

The Oompa Loompas bow and leave the docks.

> Hop onboard and have Ahab stear you back to Canbodia

Go to the Skate Park.

Gutter Punk Priest: What is this contraption on the back of your boat? Is that a fizzy lifting soda engine?

***********: Well... yes actually.

Gutter Punk Priest: Wonderful! Well, you and your crew get in your boat and stay down. I'll pull the canopy over your Wonka Vessel. Once you're close enough, you can crank that thing and leap the Half-Pipe!

You hop into the Wonka Boat and duck down with Ahab, Eddie and Morpheus. The Gutter Punk Priest pulls the canopy of jungle leaves over your boat.

Gutter Punk Priest: Alrighty! Nobody will suspect a thing! Good luck!

> Sail covertly out towards the Half-Pipe

Ahab peeks through the canopy and sails the Wonka Boat slowly out into the open towards the Half-Pipe. The river in front of the Skate Park is crowded with Gutter Punk ships guarding the Half-Pipe. As you get closer you catch a glimpse of some Gutter Punks riding the half-pipe. Through the canopy cover you can spot a dude with a huge green mohawk pulling a frontside 540 and a girl with fishnets and spikes doing a backside varial.

Lance: It's beautiful...

Ahab: Yarrr, what's the matter with ye lad? Ye're actin' kinda funny...

Lance: The pills man. I took all the pills.

Morpheus: Wait a minute... you took ALL my pills?!?!

***********: Shhhhh! We're approaching!

A phalanx of armed guards on Gutter Punk ships crowds the river in front of the Half Pipe. Luckily, none of them seem to have noticed you...

Ahab: We should be close enough now Cap'n.

> Activate the Fizzy Lifting Engine!

You pull the cord on the Fizzy Lifting Engine and a stream of bubbles shoots out from the back of the Wonka Boat, sending you flying into the air!

Lance: Far out man.

The Wonka ship sails over the Half-Pipe in a smooth arc. The force from the propulsion sends the canopy flying off the top of your boat! You peer over the side of the Boat and see all the Gutter Punks looking up at your ship and pointing.

Lance: Hey check this out! Eddie, grab on and lean left.

Eddie: Okay.

> Wait! What are you doing?!?
> Join in

***********: Hey! Stop it you guys!

Too late!

The Wonka boat starts spinning around as it begins it's descent! Everybody grabs on tight!

Ahab: Yarrrggg!!! Whaddya think yer doin?

The ship flips around completely several times and then...

Ahab: Brace for impact!

The Wonka Boat lands with a loud cracking noise in the river on the other side of the Half-Pipe! You can see a bunch of Gutter Punk ships heading your way.

> Ahab! Get us outta here!
> Stay and wait for 'em

***********: Wait! Don't move the ship!

Ahab: No problem there Cap'n! Seems the steering busted somehow on impact.

Over the roar of the approaching Gutter Punk Ships you hear what sounds like... cheering?

Gutter Punk Captain: Whoa! That was awesome!

Several of the Gutter Punk ships catch up to you and echo the first ship captain's enthusiasm.

Gutter Punk Crewman: Yeah! You must've pulled at least three full rotations up there!

Gutter Punk Captain: Those are some serious skills!

> Uh... Thanks?

Gutter Punk Captain: I didn't know you Hobo Army types had moves like that!

Gutter Punk Sergeant: Maybe you guys aren't so bad after all.

Gutter Punk Captain: Yeah, seems we had you wrong this whole time.

Gutter Punk Sergeant: ...Y'know... It's almost like our commonalities are stronger than our differences...

Gutter Punk Crewman: Perhaps if we laid down our weapons and tried talking...

Gutter Punk Sergeant: We could finally see an end to this war!

The rest of the Gutter Punks cheer and begin to throw down their weapons. You look around at your crew and shrug. Suddenly, there's a huge explosion back from the half-pipe! Debris starts flying everywhere!

> Duck!

You duck down and can see that the half-pipe has been blown in two!

Gutter Punk Captain: We're under attack! Move! Move!

The Gutter Punks all pick up their weapons and turn their ships around. As the debris clears you can see a brigade of Hobo Army ships and helicopters firing on the skate park! The Gutter Punks sail back towards where the half-pipe once stood and begin firing back on the Hobo Army ships.

Morpheus: It is time for us to go.

Ahab: We've got no steering Cap'n.

You pick up one of the large Candy Canes strapped to the side of the ship that you normally use for fishing.

***********: Everybody grab a Candy Cane. We'll head up towards that building over there and dock!

You point towards a small building you can see off in the distance downriver and everyone begins rowing.

> Row row row...

You and the crew row the boat up the river and bank it near the building you spotted. Now that you're close enough you can see a sign hanging over the entrance to the building.

The Canbodia Temporary Tattoo Parlor
For the hardcore commitment phobe

Morpheus: We have made it.

***********: Huh?

Morpheus: Please wait out here Neo. I must speak with the Oracle alone first.

***********: What the hell are you talking about?

Lance: Heyyyyy mannn... Can I see the Oracle?

Morpheus: If you are meant to you will Lance.

Lance: Far out man.

Morpheus hops out of the boat and walks up to the Temporary Tattoo Parlor, and disappears inside.

Ahab: I'll take the evenin an repair the ship Cap'n.

Mission 12 complete!
Mission 13:

We entailed heavy losses yesterday at the skate park... Golf Papa was more formidable than we imagined... we've had to push back from our offensive...

Your mission to terminate Kurtz's command is more important now than ever! We don't have the capablilites to take on the Gutter Punks directly. If Kurtz's plans are to be thwarted, you'll have to be the one to do it.

You'll have to start thinking about how you're going to sneak in. Some disguises may be in order. You might want to have a look around the Hot Topic today.

I think I need a drink, Captain...

Go to the Temporary Tattoo Parlor.

As you head towards the Temporary Tattoo Parlor, the front door opens and Morpheus walks out.

Morpheus: I have spoken with the Oracle. She has shown me the path. She also gave me this bitching tattoo.

Morpheus rolls up his sleeve to reveal a pretty awesome tattoo of a Unicorn with a jetpack.

Lance: Oh mannnnnn... that's a sweet tat... I want one mannnnn

Morpheus: Patience Lance. Neo must visit the Oracle first.

**********: Errr, why?

Morpheus: Not so fast Neo. The Oracle has revealed the path ahead, and our first objective is to get you some sweet digs over at the Hot Topic.

Ahab: Ship's ready to sail, Captain!

Morpheus: First Hot Topic, then you see the Oracle. Let us go.

Go to Hot Topic. It's a shop in Canbodia.

You dock near the Hot Topic and your crew begin to jump off the Wonka Boat.

Morpheus: No! It must be just ********** and I.

Ahab and Eddie look at you while Lance stares at his shoelaces in wonderment.

**********: We'll be back soon. Watch the boat.

Ahab: Yarrrrr, wanted to see if I could get meself a Rocky Horror shirt...

> Follow Morpheus into the Hot Topic

You follow Morpheus into the Hot Topic. The place is filled with sullen teens and employess with dyed-black hair and noserings. Everyone eyes you suspiciously as you wander the clothes racks.

Morpheus: Bringing the entire crew in would create too much suspicion. We must get you outfitted properly soon... Ah, here we are!

Morpheus pulls a long black trenchcoat from a coathanger and holds it up.

Morpheus: Yes... this will do. Wait here Neo.

Morpheus walks over to the register, and after a minute returns holding a receipt and the trenchcoat.

Morpheus: Put this on.

> Accept Morpheus' gift

You acquire the Long Black Trenchcoat. You equip it.

Morpheus: Yes. Now you blend in quite nicely... I'm going to grab one of those cool Staind beanies, and then we must go.

He starts to walk over towards the hats, but suddenly one of the employees, a guy with dreadlocks and lots of acne scars, steps in his way. Before he can say anything, the man's face starts to twist and contort rapidly... All of a sudden his face and wardrobe...change. His tattered Sex Pistols shirt changes into a sleak suit. His hair becomes short and slicked back, and really rad looking sunglasses appear on his face. Morpheus turns back to you quickly.

Morpheus: GO NEO!

**********: What's going o-

Suddenly you feel a hand on your shoulder. You turn around to see another man in a suit with slicked back hair and sunglasses.

Agent Smith: Hello Mr. Aaaaaaanderson.

> Fight! (2T)
> Flee!

Great success, you win!

Your Long Black Trenchcoat gained 7 exp (7/400).
You beat the agent!

Unfortunately, the Agent doesn't stay down for long. Within seconds he's right back on his feet, blocking your exit.

Agent Smith: Going somewhere Mister Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanderson?

> Run!
> Kick him in the nuts

You go with your default reasoning in situations like this and figure kicking the Agent in the Nuts would be a good idea.

**********: Hiiiiiiya!

Your blow connects! The Agent keels over on the floor, clutching at his poor poor testicles. Now may be your chance!

> Run!
> Kick him in the nuts again!
> Grab him and throw him into the compilation CD rack

You grab the sonuvabitch and toss him into a nearby compilation CD rack. He cuts his lip on an old unsold Rock Not Bombs CD! It's at this point a few other employees and some customers start to notice something is up.

Suddenly, several of the bystanders begin to change into agents.

Morpheus: Neo! You have to get out! Get back to the Wonka Boat!

The new agents all crowd around Morpheus. You look back and notice the Agent you've been fighting has picked himself up and is coming at you!

> Run!
> Kick him in the nuts again!
> Push him into the T-Shirt Rack!

You dodge the Agent and bolt out of the Hot Topic as several more bystanders turn into agents and rush Morpheus!

Morpheus: Neo! Go to the Oracle!

You slam the door to the Hot Topic behind you as you bolt outside and towards the Wonka Boat.

Ahab: Yarrrggghh, where be Morpheus?

> Dead. All dead.
> He's still shopping
> No time to explain, we must go see the Oracle!
> Kick him in the nuts

You're about to respond when Eddie yells and points behind you.

Eddie: Papa Golf!

**********: Eh?

Ahab: Yearrghh, Golf Papa!

You turn around to see two dozen steel bat wielding Gutter Punks rushing out of the thicket nearby, straight towards the Wonka Boat!

Ahab: Get on the boat!

You hop onboard and Ahab pulls the boat away from the Hot Topic. The Gutter Punks all crowd the shore waving their bats angrily at you as you sail away.

**********: ...Take us to the Tattoo Parlor. Morpheus told me to go see the Oracle.

Ahab: Aye aye Cap'n.

Go to the Temporary Tattoo Parlor.

You hop off the boat and step inside the Tattoo Parlor. The inside is dark and muggy. The smell of cigarette smoke fills the air.

Voice: Are you The One?

You look over and see an elderly black woman covered in tattoos sitting next to a tattoo chair.

Oracle: The one that crazy guy who wanted the Unicorn Tattoo kept talking about?

**********: Morpheus? Yeah, I guess so. I'm his friend.

Oracle: Well, he covered the cost of your first tattoo, so have a seat.

> Have a seat
> "Is Morpheus Okay?"

Oracle: How the hell should I know? I'm just a tattooist. Now you gonna sit down or what?

> Have a seat

You sit down in the tattoo chair.

Oracle: Before we proceed, I should explain how this works.

> Listen up

Tattoos bestow various beneficial effects. You may only have one tattoo at a time, so you'll have to choose the correct one for you.

Over thirty days your tattoo will fade and its effects weaken. Unless retouched, it will disappear after that. If for whatever reason you decide you no longer want your tattoo, or you decide you want a new tattoo, you will have to pay for removal.

You can view your tattoo in your living area after you have gotten it.

Oracle: Would you be interested in purchasing a Tattoo Flash Book? With this book in your possession, you'll be able to find and unlock new tattoos in all sorts of places. I must warn you, unlocking tattoos is not for the faint of heart. It usually requires outstanding actions or amazing achievements.

Purchase a Tattoo Flash Book? [Buy - $100,000]

Oracle: That Morpheus guy covered the cost of your first tattoo. After this one though, they'll cost you. Now what would you like?

I actually bought the Tattoo Flash Book and had to notice that I will never be able to unlock any of the Tattoos in there. But oh well just another 100,000 wasted... Ok you have to choose a Tattoo now.

You spend a little while in the chair getting a bitching new tattoo. And all those kids back in high school gym class said you'd never be cool!

You've now got a long black trenchcoat and a tattoo... Your Gutter Punk disguise is nearly complete. For now though, some rest is order.

Mission 13 complete!
I shorry 2 hear about Morpeus, Cap...n. -hiccup-

Im kida drubk... teh dead they jusb kep piling up capn...


Go to Kurtz's Camp but make sure you are wearing your coat and you have a tattoo.

Everything is very still as you approach Kurtz's Camp. A primitive wooden gate obscures the base of a large temple. Torches line the river ominously. The jungle cover is thick here, and gives the camp a feeling of perpetual night...

**********: Everyone else get down. I'll steer us in.

Ahab and Eddie duck down, but Lance doesn't seem to hear you.

Lance: Man, this place is wiiiilllld. Those torch tops look like skulls.

Ahab: Those are skulls ye drunken seabat. Now get down!

Ahab pulls Lance down as your boat reaches the front gate of Kurtz's camp.

Camp Guard: Who goes there?

> Respond

**********: Hi, I uh... can I enter the camp?

The guard eyes you suspiciously. Ahab whispers at you from the deck.

Ahab: Yarrggghhh! Try en' sound more like Golf Papa mate!

**********: I mean.... uhhhhh.... You got any change man?

Camp Guard: ...Who are you? Where did you get this strange boat?

**********: I... ummm... I just came from the Skate Park. I... stole this boat from the Hobo Army.

Camp Guard: Come down here.

> Hop off the boat

You hop off the boat and the guard looks you over.

Camp Guard: So you were at the Skate Park when the Hobo Army blew it apart?

**********: Yessir!

Camp Guard: Hmmmmm...

The Guard starts sniffing the air around you, then steps back.

Camp Guard: You look like one of us... But something doesn't smell quite right... You smell dirty... but not dirty enough... No, something's off. Sorry, I can't let you in.

**********: But-

Camp Guard: Sorry!

> Leave

You leap back onto the Wonka Boat and sail off. Once you're far enough away, you signal to the crew they can stand up.

**********: Hmmmm, Aparently I don't smell dirty enough to be taken for a Gutter Punk.

Lance: What's that man?

Lance points towards the shore, where a small opening in the jungle reveals something large and metallic.

Ahab: Shall we investigate Cap'n?

> Investigate

Ahab pulls the Wonka Boat up to the shore near the jungle opening and lays anchor. The jungle is silent and still.

Ahab: Yarrgghh, somethin' don't smell right...

That's when you see what the metallic object was. Right in front of you, through the jungle opening is the largest dumpster you've ever seen.

This isn't exactly as impressive as it sounds, since you've only ever seen one dumpster, but still, it is pretty big.

Lance: It's beauuuuutiful man. Real like.... beautiful. Y'know?

Suddenly Eddie hops out of the Wonka Boat onto shore.

Eddie: Me get supplies. Dumpster yummies.

With that Eddie runs over to the dumpster and climbs in.

Lance: No way man... It's too awesome. I'm... not worthy...

Ahab: I'll stay 'ere with Lance Cap'n. You go on ahead.

> Follow Eddie and check out the dumpster

When you get to the dumpster you find Eddie standing there scracthing his head.

Eddie: There lid.

Indeed, the Dumpster is covered with a titanium dumpster lid. There's no pulling it off.

Eddie: What this?

On the side of the dumpster is a strange puzzle with little colored squares... It seems somehow... familiar. Next to the puzzle is plaque.

"This dumpster protected with Titanium Brand Arbitrary Puzzle Security System. To open dumpster solve the puzzle!"

Another puzzle... okay.

> Solve it

Follow the pictures exactly and you'll get to this:

Hey, they're all yellow! Good work! The dumpster lid slowly opens.

> Jump in!

You hop into the dumpster and find Eddie already down to his knees in filth, digging and digging.

You look around and see empty KFC packets and bachelor chow bags and other non-Canbodian foodstuffs. The Gutter Punks must be stealing this stuff from the other cities and dumping it here...

Well, perhaps you should get your hands dirty?

Rummage through the dumpster (5T)

Dig through there a couple times until you get this:

After digging for a while you come up with nothing but empty food packages and other non-edibles.

Eddie: Poop! No good! Burgers, candies, soups... Nothing to eat! No soap, no bottles. Poop! Eddie done.

Eddie climbs out of the dumpster grumbling. A few seconds later you hear a struggle outside.

Eddie: Hey what you-

Suddenly you hear the thud of a metal pipe and Eddie is silent.

**********: Eddie!

You hop out of the Dumpster, but it's too late. You don't see Eddie anywhere!

Ahab: Yarggh, I heard some noise and came a' runnin. Where be Crazy Eddie?

Suddenly, you hear some thrashing noises coming from the jungle nearby...

> Investigate

Ahab follows you a small ways into the jungle until...

Ahab: Poseidon's Beard...

Directly in front of you, tied up naked to a tree, is Crazy Eddie. Somebody has snapped polaroids and left them lying on the jungle floor in front of the terrible scene.

**********: Eddie...

You throw up in your mouth a little bit at the sight and have to turn away.

Ahab: Golf Papa... Bastards...

Eddie: Hay, I still alive. You untie?

Ahab: C'mon **********, it's too late for him.

Eddie: What? ME OKAY. UNTIE!

**********: Let's go back to the boat and... tell Lance.


> Head back to the boat

You and Ahab leave the gruesome scene behind and head past the dumpster back towards the Wonka Boat.

Ahab: Aye... Where's the boat?!?

Where the boat should be docked, there is only water. Suddenly you hear a voice from up above.

Lance: Heyyyyy guyssss

You look up and see Lance leaning over the edge of the Wonka boat, resting high up on a jungle tree branch.

**********: Lance! What the hell happened? How'd you get up there?

Lance: I followed a butterfly mannnnnn. Everything up here is so higghhhh.

Ahab: Yarrgghh........

> Get the boat down

You look inside your backpack and pull out your mixer, a fake ID, and a couple of sticks.

**********: I'll take care of this!

You spend the next few hours implementing your crafty plan to get the Wonka Boat down from the jungle tree and back in the water.

Ahab: Yarggghhh.... I... can't believe that worked.

By the time you're finally back in the water, the sun has set over the Canbodian Jungle Horizon.

**********: Ahab, Take us to Kurtz's Camp.

Ahab: Aye aye Cap'n.

A somber silence falls over the Wonka Boat as you push off from the jungle shore. Two Crewmembers lost in two days. Those aren't good numbers...

> Sail to Kurtz's Camp

Ahab steers the Wonka Boat up to the gate of Kurtz's Camp, but the gate is closed and no one is around.

**********: There's a note here...

Closed for the evening. Gone Skatin'.

Damn looks like you'll have to wait until tomorrow to get inside!

Mission 14 Complete!


Mission 15:

Eddie too! Oh dar gode!

Yesh Imb drunk agin and u no wat I don car no more!

I ca do this no moar! I never wated to be a geenral i wanted 2 be a libarian!

Bud noooOOOooooOOooo dad wouldn hab that wood he?!?

"ur goonna be a army genral jus lik ur old man!"


Go to Kurtz's Camp.

Camp Guard: Oh hey, it's you again. The Colonel said if I saw you again I should let you in.

**********: Kurtz knows I'm here?

camp Guard: He knows everything.

You hop off the boat and approach the gates of Kurtz's Camp.

**********: Ahab, Lance, you two stay here. I'll be back.

Ahab: Aye aye Cap'n.

Lance: Can I come Captain?

**********: No Lance. You stay there. I'll be back.

> Enter the Camp

The Camp Guard watches you as you pass through the gates into Kurtz's Camp. Lined up on both sides as you enter are what must be a hundred or so Gutter Punks, dirty and scarred from fighting.

Lance: This is pretty wild, eh Captain?

**********: Lance! I told you to stay on the boat.

You're cut off before you can finish chastising Lance. The Gutter Punks begin to form a closed circle around you.

**********: Hey... C'mon now...

Two Gutter Punks grab you by the arms. You kick and yell, but another pair of Punks grab your feet.

**********: Lance! Get Ahab! Get help!

Lance just stands there with a big grin on his face, seemingly oblivious to his surroundings.

**********: Dammit Lance! Go-

You're cut off when one of the Gutter Punks takes the base of a shotgun to the back of your skull, knocking you unconscious.

> Continue

You awake to find yourself in a muddy dark pit. Thin shafts of light reach out to you from the ceiling up above.

**********: Where... where am I?

You notice something soft and round in your hand. You ignore the ripe opportunity for dirty jokes and lift the object up to the light so you can see it.

**********: No!

You hastily drop the hackeysack on the ground and back away! It's the one Ahab always carried with him. The Gutter Punks must've gotten him...

**********: I've gotta get out of here...

You try and move, but the soft mud sends you sliding until you hit a wall.

**********: Ow!

This is going to make it difficult to get out of here...

> Continue

What comes next is a sliding game. You need to go like the following. I'm not sure if this game is the same for everyone so here is my labyrinth. The correct way is marked in red.

You reach the exit, but find only more dungeon beyond it. Drat!

Voice: Help... me...

You turn and see a creepily familiar face. And when I say creepily familiar I mean CREEPILY.

Tiger Furry: Hello... Friend. They've... locked me down here for days without... internet access or magazines...

**********: Ummm, I've gotta go...

Tiger Furry: Wait! Please, take this.

You get the Yiff Whistle

Tiger Furry: If you make it... out of here... take that to the home of my brothers... in the jungle... show it to... our chief...

You agree, mostly to get the creepy tiger furry to leave you alone.

Tiger Furry: Good... luck...

> Continue on...

You reach the Dungeon exit. Unfortunately, this being a dungeon and all, it's a locked door.

> Bang on the door and DEMAND to be let out

You pound on the dungeon door with a clenched fist and tell lies about how you have an uncle who is a bigshot attorney and Ohhhh Boy once HE hears about this...

Surpisingly, it works! The Dungeon Door creaks open. The light blinds you momentarily.

> Step into the light

The silhouette of a bald man blocks some of the light flowing into the dungeon. He lifts up what looks like a magazine and begins to speak before your eyes can fully adjust.

Bald man: Adbuster's Magazine. Issue 43.

"Bum Fights is a series of amateur style DVDs that are available for sale online and at one time were available for sale at corporate chains. In these DVDs, homeless people are coerced with drugs, alcohol and food into performing dangerous stunts or degrading acts. "

Your eyes start to adjust to the point where you can make out-

**********: Kurtz!

Kurtz: Next page. Review of an online game called "Hobo Wars".

"its a kinda gay and its suckish and its not worth it mand ont waste ya time"

Kurtz: Do you think it's "gay and its suckish", Captain?

> I don't know what you're talking about...

Kurtz: A joke, Captain! That's what hobos have become! And for what? I've met hobos with hundreds of millions of dollars in their bank! In the Hobo Army I had a bunk mate with a shopping cart made of gold! The Hobos have lost their way, Captain.

**********: That's not true...

Kurtz: Did they send you, Captain... did the Hobo Army send you to terminate my command?

**********: ...

Kurtz: Are you an assassin?

**********: ...I'm a hobo...

Kurtz: You're neither. You're an errand boy sent by grocery clerks... to collect a bill.

> All these ellipses are making my head hurt...

Kurtz: Perhaps you need some fresh air Captain.

Kurtz rises from the dungeon entryway, and vanishes out into the sun light. As you peer out you see curious looking gutter punks all standing outside peering in at you. You spot Lance among them... wearing a leather jacket and spikes.

**********: Am I... free?

None of the Gutter Punks try and stop you as you leave the dungeon. The cool air from outside feels good on your mud soaked face.

**********: Where did he go... Kurtz?

Bearded Gutter Punk: The Colonel is busy, but would like to schedule a dinner with you in the near future. Come back tomorrow and we can set something up.

**********: Dinner? But I'm supposed to kill the bastard!

Bearded Gutter Punk: ...I suggest you remain more... discreet in your motives, Captain.

The Gutter Punk winks at you, and that's when you recognize him. It's the Gutter Punk Priest who guarded the Tony Hawk statue!

Bearded Gutter Punk: So tomorrow CAPTAIN?

**********: kk

Mission 15 completed

Remember that whistle the Tiger guy gave you? Why not return it?

Zebra Furry: I thought I told you to leave us be! Wait a minute... is that...

You hold out the Yiff Whistle.

Zebra Furry: ...Where did you get that?

**********: Creepy Tiger dude gave it to me. He's locked up in Kurtz's Camp.

Zebra Furry: Softpaw... I must take this information to the Fur Quorom. Just... hold on to that whistle for now.


Mission 16:Hello, Captain. What, surprised to see a coherent Dossier entry? That's because this is Colonel Kurtz.

I have heard about the Hobo General's descent into drunkeness. I have also been informed he has been removed from power.

So where does that leave you Captain? Do you fulfill your mission anyhow? Do you follow your order to "terminate my command", even as the very person who gave you those orders falls into madness and the hobo army crumbles?

I would like to cordially invite you to dinner at my camp today, Captain. We can talk more about things in person.

Go to his Camp.

The gates into Kurtz's Camp open as you approach them.

Gutter Punk Devotee: Follow me Captain. The Colonel wishes to see you.

> Follow him

You follow the Gutter Punk to a large temple in the center of the camp.

Gutter Punk Devotee: The Colonel is inside.

You walk up the steps and enter the temple. The inside is somehow both ornate and dismal. Torches and candles line the walls. In the center of the room Kurtz sits at a long table, sipping from a goblet.

Kurtz: Two buck chuck. Do you like wine Captain?

**********: ...

Kurtz: You're not a man given to formalities, are you Captain? Well, please then, have a seat.

> Sit down at the table

You sit down and begin to nibble at the food placed on the table for you. A half donut, a raw chicken leg...

Kurtz: Do you recognize it Captain?

**********: Recognize what?

Kurtz: It has been a while hasn't it? A while since you fed yourself solely on 1 or 2T food. A while since you dug through a dumpster hoping, praying for a piece of pizza or half a hotdog.

**********: ...I never really did that.

Kurtz: What is in your trolly right now Captain? A KFC meal? Some delicious soup? A Double Double perhaps?

> I'm not sure what you're getting at...

Kurtz: Tell me, Captain, how much money is in that piggybank of yours right now? Enough for a steady diet of good food? Perhaps some new weapons and armor?

**********: I really don't-

Kurtz rises from his seat, nearly shouting.

Kurtz: You're indulgent Captain! You all are! You're not impoverished! Why, you could probably afford a nice house in the Hoburbs right now!

He regains himself and sits back down.

Kurtz: But that won't be a problem for much longer, Captain.

> What do you mean???

Kurtz: What I mean is that as we speak Gutter Punks are invading your cities and removing your leisures, your sources of income, your... luxuries.

**********: No!

Kurtz: It is time for a return to basics Captain! Back to dumpster diving for scraps! Back to living off what you can find scrounging around the city for cash.

You stand up from the table and make your way for the door.

Kurtz: You leave this camp Captain, and there's no coming back! Those gates are closed forever to you!

You don't turn back as you step out of the temple, through the camp gates, and return to your Wonka boat.

[Leave Kurtz's Camp]

Kurtz said the Gutter Punks were attacking the other cities, removing sources of income and food... You're not sure where to start, but you've got to find these Punks and stop them!

I am not sure if this order is the same for everyone so if it's not, you need to attack each of the punks once and write down which other punk each one it trying to reach with the walkie talkie and then attack them in reverse order. Here is the order that worked for me.

Go to the Candy Store.

You crush the Gutter Punk.

Suddenly, 2 security officers walk up.

Security Officer: We got a call someone was causing trouble around here.

Security Officer 2: Come on pal, come with us.

The Officers grab the Gutter Punk and begin to drag him away.

Now head over to the Welness Clinic.

You crush the Gutter Punk. He stumbles back and grabs his walkie talkie.

The green haired Gutter Punk wipes the blood from his lips and grabs his walkie talkie.

Gutter Punk green: Come in purple! COME IN purple!

There is no response from the walkie talkie.

Suddenly, 2 security officers walk up.

Gutter Punk green: purple! They're going to cage green bird! I repeat! Caged Bird!

Security Officer: We got a call someone was causing trouble around here.

Security Officer 2: Come on pal, come with us.

The Officers grab the Gutter Punk and begin to drag him away.

Now with this one crushed go to the Toy Store.

You crush the Gutter Punk. He stumbles back and grabs his walkie talkie.

The orange haired Gutter Punk wipes the blood from his lips and grabs his walkie talkie.

Gutter Punk orange: Come in green! COME IN green!

There is no response from the walkie talkie.

Suddenly, 2 security officers walk up.

Gutter Punk orange: green! They're going to cage orange bird! I repeat! Caged Bird!

Security Officer: We got a call someone was causing trouble around here.

Security Officer 2: Come on pal, come with us.

The Officers grab the Gutter Punk and begin to drag him away.

Next take out the guy at the Soup Kitchen.

You crush the Gutter Punk. He stumbles back and grabs his walkie talkie.

The blue haired Gutter Punk wipes the blood from his lips and grabs his walkie talkie.

Gutter Punk blue: Come in orange! COME IN orange!

There is no response from the walkie talkie.

Suddenly, 2 security officers walk up.

Gutter Punk blue: orange! They're going to cage blue bird! I repeat! Caged Bird!

Security Officer: We got a call someone was causing trouble around here.

Security Officer 2: Come on pal, come with us.

The Officers grab the Gutter Punk and begin to drag him away.

With this one crushed you need to go to the Liquor Store.

You crush the Gutter Punk. He stumbles back and grabs his walkie talkie.

The yellow haired Gutter Punk wipes the blood from his lips and grabs his walkie talkie.

Gutter Punk yellow: Come in blue! COME IN blue!

There is no response from the walkie talkie.

Suddenly, 2 security officers walk up.

Gutter Punk yellow: blue! They're going to cage yellow bird! I repeat! Caged Bird!

Security Officer: We got a call someone was causing trouble around here.

Security Officer 2: Come on pal, come with us.

The Officers grab the Gutter Punk and begin to drag him away.

Next on your list is the punk at the Walmart.

You crush the Gutter Punk. He stumbles back and grabs his walkie talkie.

The red haired Gutter Punk wipes the blood from his lips and grabs his walkie talkie.

Gutter Punk red: Come in yellow! COME IN yellow!

There is no response from the walkie talkie.

Suddenly, 2 security officers walk up.

Gutter Punk red: yellow! They're going to cage red bird! I repeat! Caged Bird!

Security Officer: We got a call someone was causing trouble around here.

Security Officer 2: Come on pal, come with us.

The Officers grab the Gutter Punk and begin to drag him away.

The last punk to take out is at the Corner 7/11.

You crush the Gutter Punk. He stumbles back and grabs his walkie talkie.

The black haired Gutter Punk wipes the blood from his lips and grabs his walkie talkie.

Gutter Punk black: Come in red! COME IN red!

There is no response from the walkie talkie.

Suddenly, 2 security officers walk up.

Gutter Punk black: red! They're going to cage black bird! I repeat! Caged Bird!

Security Officer: We got a call someone was causing trouble around here.

Security Officer 2: Come on pal, come with us.

The Officers grab the Gutter Punk and begin to drag him away.

That's the last of em. Head over to the Big House!

Follow that instruction...

Punks currently incarcerated

-purple haired gutter punk
-green haired gutter punk
-orange haired gutter punk
-blue haired gutter punk
-yellow haired gutter punk
-red haired gutter punk
-black haired gutter punk

Warden: Thanks for helping lock up all these gutter punk scum. Someone was here just a minute ago and left a note for you.

The Warden hands you an envelope and walks off. You rip it open and read the letter inside.

Kurtz has gone over the line. The Hobo Army is in disarray, so you're the only hope of putting an end to Kurtz.

I've found a way into his Camp that will allow you to take him by surprise.

I'll send you a Dossier Page tomorrow telling you where to meet me.

Mission 16

Remember what you last did on the last day? Return to the Jungle Camp.

Zebra Furry: Softpaws, our tiger companion, has been captured by Kurtz...

**********: Uh, yeah I know. I was there.

Zebra Furry: I have spoken with the Fur Quorom. If you will help us rescue our friend, we will reward you greatly.

**********: What do I have to do?

Zebra Furry: We will lie in wait near Kurtz's Camp tomorrow. When you are inside, blow the Yiff Whistle. We'll storm the place, and rescue Softpaws!

Great. Now you're in league with furries.


Mission 17:You notice the Dossier is a bit thicker than usual when you pull it out. You open it up and find something inside!

You get the Bundle of Dynamite

Meet me at the hatch in the city located at XX, YY.

We're gonna blow that bastard open.

-Major Sayid Jarrah

Go to the Coordinates listed in your Dossier.

You found: You find Major Sayid, from the Hobo Army, standing next to the hatch.

**********: Hey, it's the torture guy!

Sayid: I'd prefer if you didn't refer to me as "the torture guy". Now, did you bring the dynamite?

**********: yessir!

You pull out the bundle of dynamite and hand it to Sayid.

Sayid: Now I have to be very careful. This stuff is very unstable. One wrong move and it could blow us both to hell.

**********: Huh, you failed to mention that in the Dossier page.

Sayid: Did I? Sorry. Now step back.

Sayid sets the dynamite down next to the hatch and you both hide behind a nearby trashcan. Sayid takes off one of his shoes, and chucks it straight at the dynamite.


The hatch lid flies off, revealing the path beneath.

Sayid: It's up to you now Captain! Take out that Kurtz bastard once and for all!

> Enter the hatch

Walk through the tunnel.

The passage widens a bit ahead. You can see what looks like... an anarchy flag. Looks like you'll have to capture it if you're going to pass.

[Do eet]

What comes next is yet another round of stratego.

You Captured the flag!

The path ahead is clear.

[Move further into the passage]

Now keep going on the way.

Okay. This is really weird.

Up ahead is a replica Wonka boat sitting on the bank of a wide underground river. You can spot a gutterpunk guard ship on the other side of the lake.

There's no other way around. You'll have to duke it out, water battle style.

[Do eet]

Remember that ship battle? Same thing here. Get that anchor hooked and then draw them closer. Remember to repair your boat.

All the Gutter Punks have been taken care of! You Win!

You sail the replica Wonka boat over to the end of the lake. The passage continues ahead.

> *Phew*

Run through yet another tunnel.

The passage ahead splits up and is filled with mud.

All signs point to you having to clever your way through yet another puzzle.

[Do eet]

Follow the red line.

You reach the exit, and step out into the final passage.

> Shit's about to get REAL

I think after this mission I'll never be able to enter a tunnel again. Ok but for now go through this one as well.

This is the end of the underground passage. There's a ladder leading up above to another hatch...

You've got a feeling it's going to lead you right into danger.

[Climb the ladder]

You push open the hatch slightly and take a peak. It leads right into Kurtz's Temple! What a glaring security flaw! You see Kurtz seated on the ground, with a Gutter Punk speaking to him.

Gutter Punk Aid: Sir... your beer is empty. Would you like another?

Kurtz: Nevermind that, I've got a six pack here. Go, the band is ready. They need their third guitarist.

Gutter Punk Aid: ...yessir.

The Gutter Punk leaves the temple. A minute goes by, but Kurtz remains still. You hear the band go on. They're doing a really dirty punk cover of The Doors "The End"...

> Emerge from the hatch

You open the hatch as quietly as you can, and make your way towards Kurtz, uncertain exactly what you'll do next...

Kurtz: Hello Captain. I suppose you've come to terminate my command.

**********: ...

Kurtz takes a sip of his beer.

Kurtz: Let me ask you something, Captain? Do you think you're the first the Hobo Army has sent after me?

**********: Uh, kinda, I guess.

Kurtz: You're not, Captain. Those flaming skulls out in front of the camp belong to your predecessors. Those are the ones who wouldn't join me. The ones who refused to give up their austere hobo lifestyles. So, Captain, what will it be? Join me? Or die?

> What the hell, sign me up
> I'm gonna have to go with death on this one

Kurtz: Wha- wait? Are you sure?

**********: Oh yeah. Gimme a card and a uniform. I want in the club.

Kurtz: I sorta had this epic battle planned... Could you just... defy me?

> Never!

Kurtz: So sorry to hear it Captain. You see, I've been holed up here in this camp a long time. I have had plenty of time to study and hone my drinking abilities.

Kurtz takes another sip of his beer.

Kurtz: I've learned how to control the drunkenness at will Captain. I've learned to pass it off on others, and to absorb it at will. Soon enough, I'll be able to absorb all the booze in these cities Captain. This place will become a dry county!

**********: Gasp!

Kurtz: I will be the arbiter of booze, deciding at will who is drunk and sober! The Hobo Army will beg to join me! A little more time,
Captain, and I'll be unstoppable!

**********: Double gasp!

Kurtz: Now prepare yourself as I reveal... my true form!

Kurtz stands up and turns your way, all the while groaning and contorting weirdly.

Kurtz: Amazing what years of heavy drinking can do to a man... I hope you know how to fight drunk Captain.

He begins to stumble towards you!

> Fight!

Round 1
Kurtz's HP: 1000

Kurtz is approaching you with a pretty mean look in his eye. Throw something in that freaky mouth belly of his?

This one actually was quite costy for me since I had to heal after each round. All you need to do is throw something his way and then fight him. Don't worry about your alcohol level. DO NOT USE ZIMA!!!!!

You win!

Kurtz: NooOOoOoOoOoOOOOO!

Something begins to happen to Kurtz... He starts to convulse and his stomach begins rumbling...

> Those sound like promising signs

All the alcohol Kurtz imbibed comes flying out of his stomach straight at you! You don't have any time to dodge it!

You stand up. Hey... you don't feel at all wobbly... Did you... did you just drink yourself sober?

Kurtz: The horror... the horror...

Kurtz has reverted back to his normal self. Well, it's time you finished him off once and for all.

> Do what must be done

**********: It's time... I should've done this from the start.

You drag Kurtz over to a nearby pillar, tie him up naked and take photos.

**********: It's over...

You slowly make your way out of the temple. Outside the place is crawling with Gutter Punks listening to the band on stage still playing a long meandering punk cover of "The End".

**********: I gotta clear these punks out...

That's when you remember that creepy-ass furry's whistle...

Blow that weird-ass whistle.

You pull out the Yiff Whistle and reluctantly blow on it.

Yiff yiff! Yiff yiff!

The Yiffing cries out over the land, and there is a great rumbling.

> Uh oh...

The Gutter Punk guitars come to a screeching halt as the gates of Kurtz's camp fall and an army of furries descend upon the camp.

Yiff yiff! Yiff yiff!

The Gutter Punks panic and scatter quickly into the jungle as the furries descend upon the camp! Some of those furries look oddly familiar...

The Zebra Fur Chieftain finds you standing in front of the temple.

Zebra Furry: Thank you fur leading us here! We have located Softpaws and freed him!

**********: Um, that's good. I should probably be go-

Zebra Furry: We are going to celebrate the rescue of our brother. Would you like to stay for the furstivities?

**********: Wha- NO! NO! I... have to go... NOW.

Zebra Furry: Well, I won't hold you then.


Zebra Furry: Okay, well stop by our camp in the junge tomorrow. I believe I promised you a gift fur your help! Yiff!

You're halfway to what is left of the Camp Gate before the Chieftain can finish his sentence. You're not even sure you WANT this gift.

Mission 17 Completed!
===== Mission 18:(Almost done!)

That was a hell of a binger I went on Captain.

Seems while I was out of it you took care of all our problems. Good work! I'd give you a promotion, but I've been dishonorably discharged. I'm packing my things right now!

Though I'm a little worried abou those strange animal people that have taken up residence at Kurtz's old camp. They seem peaceful... but we'll keep an eye on em.

Oh, one of them claimed to have something for you. Might be worth looking into.

And one more thing Captain! What ever happened to your crew?

Go to Kurtz's Camp.

As you approach Kurtz's Camp you hear the sound of hammers and nails. The furries are rebuilding the place after the siege. There's not a Gutter Punk in sight. Suddenly, you see a familiar face.

**********: Lance!

Lance: Oh, hey Captain! What the hell happened? I remember being on the Wonka Boat with a massive headache and then... waking up here, surrounded by furries.

**********: It's all right Lance. It's all over.

Lance: Cool, well hey, can I rejoin the crew then?

You look down at Lance's feet and notice he's wearing fur slippers. You'd better get him out of here FAST.

Lance rejoined your crew!

Now go to Hot Topic.

Business at Hot Topic has died down considerably since the Gutter Punks left. You do see one familiar shopper though...

**********: Morpheus!

Morpheus: Oh, hello Neo!

**********: I thought you were dead!

Morpheus: You must be referring to our scuffle with the employees a few days back. Turns out there was just a misunderstanding. I bought a coat but had the wrong receipt.

**********: You wanna rejoin the crew?

Morpheus: Yes, I will follow and protect The One.

Morpheus rejoined your crew!

Go back to the Soup Kitchen.

Sitting outside the Soup Kitchen you see a familiar face.

**********: Eddie!

Eddie: Oh, **********... You leave me tied naked to tree... You total asshole.

**********: I thought you were dead...

Eddie: Me just learn terrible thing! This not soap kitchen! This SOUP kitchen! Me can never go back...

**********: How bout rejoining the crew Eddie? C'mon. It'll be just like old times!

Eddie: Me don't know...

**********: C'mooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Eddie: Okay.

Crazy Eddie rejoined your crew!

Run over to the Docks and hop onto your boat.

You hop onto the Wonka boat to find a familiar face waiting for you.

**********: Ahab!

Ahab: Yaharrrr! 'Ello Cap'n.

**********: What happened to you Ahab? I found your hackeysack... I thought you were dead!

Ahab: Ye found it? Give it 'ere!

**********: I... didn't keep it.

Ahab: Yarrggghhhh... Ye went into that Camp O' Kurtz's 'n I was practicin me kicks. I was going fer a record height, but I arched me heel to much n' sent it flyin outta sight. I went lookin fer me hackeysack, but by the time I gave up n' came back, ye'd already left!

**********: Let's put things right Ahab. Would you like back on the crew?

Ahab: Aye aye Cap'n.

Ahab rejoined your crew!

Head over to the Jungle Camp.

Zebra Furry: Yiff! Good to see you! You have been sooooo helpful and we have a wonderful surprise fur you!

You begin to have some second thoughts about this prize...

Zebra Furry: You see, I, the chieftain of this tribe, was not always a furry. I was once a renaissance faire worker. Yiff! can you believe it?

**********: Yes I can.

Zebra Furry: But I had to leave all that behind when I devoted myself to my fursona. There was one piece of my past I just could not part with though...

**********: Y'know what, I don't think I need to kn-

Zebra Furry: A cup. A King's Cup! Oh, it would make the mead taste sweeter! Anyway, I want you to have it! I know you'll take good care of it! Yiff! Just follow the path up ahead and clear the thicket as you go!

After this the way up is free so why not check out what is hiding out there?

You step out into a clearing and find an old tree stump with a magificent jeweled cup resting atop it. This must be the King's Cup that furry was talking about. There's a plaque attached to the tree stump.

Whoever shall bear this cup, and will follow the will of the cup, shall find their beverages tasting sweeter than ever.

You get the Kings Cup

All Missions Completed